Don't think, write!
by Swooning Fate
Summary: 100 oneshots. But we still need to write 97...
1. A Lullaby For Yachiru

**Summary:** Yachiru doesn't want to sleep – Yumichika and Ikkaku have to find a solution...

**Disclaimer:** Well, everybody knows it's not ours. We only put the words in this order. The characters belong to Kubo Tite and the song belongs to the German band "Die Ärzte". And unfortunately, we don't make money with this…

**Rating:** G

**Genre:** Humor

**Characters:** Kusajishi Yachiru, Ayasegawa Yumichika, Madarame Ikkaku

**A/N:** Nachtschatten: WE NEED HELP!  
Berendis: Yes! We desperately need a beta-reader! Because I'm sure I made an awful lot of mistakes when I translated this from German to English...  
Nachtschatten: Er, well. I thought of a psychiatrist as I spoke of help. :grins:  
Berendis: You did? ... We may as well need a psychiatrist, but the beta-reader is first priority. Definitely.  
Nachtschatten: You're absolutely right. So... any volunteers?  
Berendis: We really would be grateful. Because, you know, we're just two little, German speaking girls that are still learning English. Maybe we shouldn't have tried to translate our fanfiction in the first place, but well... there's a first time for everything, right?  
Nachtschatten: Anyways, enjoy the fanfiction. ;)

**Don't think, write!  
Oneshot #001: A Lullaby for Yachiru**

Ayasegawa Yumichika and Madarame Ikkaku were despairing. Captain Kenpachi had told them to look after Yachiru and untill now the lieutenant had made them invent a story which had to include a lot of corpses and blood, and they had to bake a cake with her which was so horrible that even the greedy lieutenant of the second division, Oomaeda Marechiyo, wouldn't have eaten it. Midnight had long passed by, captain Zaraki still wasn't back, Yachiru was as awake as ever and Yumichika and Ikkaku were just exhausted.

At the moment, Yachiru was painting funny patterns on Ikkaku's head. Yumichika would have found it quite amusing if he hadn't been her target before – he still hadn't managed to wash the ink off his beautiful face!

„Yumi, do something!", Ikkaku whined, trying to get Yachiru off his head. When he didn't succeed, he grabbed her brush and put it away. Pouting, Yachiru began chewing on Ikkaku's head.

"Ouch! Yachiru! Stop it, you damn brat!"

Yachiru giggled past Ikkaku's hairless skull, but didn't make a move.

"How about you go to sleep now? We'll sing you a lullaby if you do", Yumichika tried to convince his lieutenant. Yachiru looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"Okay, but if there isn't enough blood in it, I'll tell Ken-chan you didn't treat me well!", she said, snickering. Yumichika swallowed at the thought of a mad Zaraki. If Yachiru really told him that Yumichika and Ikkaku didn't take care of Yachiru well, they would be history. In the best case, he would be able to keep his beautiful face from getting ugly scars, but in the worst case…

Yachiru got off Ikkaku's head. He rubbed his skull, sighing relievedly, but then he glanced suspiciously at Yumichika. "From where will you take a lullaby that will satisfy Yachiru?"

"Do you remember when we were at this bar in Rukongai a few days ago?"

"Bar… Rukongai… could be. And?"

"There was this drunk, singing a song. If I'm not mistaken, you sang along with him", Yumichika said. Ikkaku stared into space for a while.

"I think I remember", he mumbled. "Maybe that will really shut her up."

"Do you still know the words?"

"I think so."

"Okay, then we'll get her to sleep now", grinned Yumichika.

Yachiru went ahead to her room, already slipping under her – naturally – blood red sheets. She waited eagerly for the song. Yumichika and Ikkaku thought of the text again, then they began.

"Sleep, my child, sleep now, the night is looking through your window."

"That's boring!", Yachiru interrupted. Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "It'll get better."

"The round moon likes you very much, the stars are shining for you."

"How can I sleep if the stars are shining? It's too bright!"

"Be quiet and listen", Ikkaku grumbled. "I told you it'll get better."

"Sleep, little one, sleep sweetly. Soon, you are in paradise."

"But I don't want to go there!", Yachiru protested. "I want to stay with Ken-chan!"

"No one says you have to go away from captain Zaraki", Yumichika calmed her. "It's only a song."

"Soon, the door will open, and a monster will come to you."

"What kind of monster? A hollow?"

"Yes, a hollow", Yumichika sighed. "A very big, horrible hollow."

"Pah! I'll finish it off easily."

"With its eleven eyes it looks at you and sneaks to your bed."

"What a stupid song!" Yachiru shook her head. "Hollows don't sneak. They always are very noisy."

"Well, that's a special hollow", Ikkaku explained. Yachiru looked at him unbelievingly, but didn't say anything else.

"You lie still, don't move. The monster scratches over your face."

"Like I would let it do that!", Yachiru yelled. "I would finish it off befor it could even growl once!"

"Er…", Ikkaku looked helplessly at Yumichika. "Someone used Kidou on you, so you can't move anymore", the other explained.

"What? Who?", Yachiru asked, her eyes wide with exitement.

"Well… someone… a traitor. Ichimaru."

"Its fingers are long and thin, don't struggle, it's not worth it."

Surprisingly, Yachiru kept quiet this time. Thoughtfully, she stared at Yumichika's eyebrows. Right before the two of them wanted to sing the next line, she asked a question. "Why would the fox face use Kidou on me?"

Ikkaku rolled his eyes and Yumichika torn his hear if it wouldn't have destroyed his beautiful hairdo. "Because he's evil, that's why", he said briskly.

"But…", Yachiru began, but Ikkaku interrupted her by singing the next line as loud as he could.

"And it giggles like crazy as it chokes you."

"Are you sure the monster isn't Ichimaru himself?", Yachiru asked. Ikkaku shook his head. "It isn't. The coward sent a hollow."

"You scream, but you are alone at home. The monster puts out your eyes."

"What? Ken-chan isn't there? And you two neither?", Yachiru asked, shocked. "But you two surely had to look after me! And then you went to get drunk, leaving me all alone!"

"We wouldn't do that", Yumichika ensured her."Well, at least I wouldn't." Ikkaku glared at him but didn't say anything.

"Then, you are silent and that's good. It bites your neck and drinks your blood."

"Oh", Yachiru said, her eyes shining strangely. "The hollow likes blood?" The two of them nodded, while Yumichika looked at Ikkaku in a "I knew it would work" manner.

"Without blood you're as white as chalk. Then it eats your bowels."

"And who's going to clean up afterwards?"

"Yumichika", Ikkaku said quickly. The said glared at him and Yachiru giggled.

"Your little bed is red of blood, the sun rises and you are dead."

"The hollow needs that much time to eat me?"

"You went to bed very late", Yumichika explained. "Like always", Ikkaku mumbled.

"Sleep, my child, sleep now. In the sky the stars are shining."

"They are still there? I thought it was morning", Yachiru said, confused. Ikkaku shrugged. "They're just there", he said. "It isn't that important."

"But that's completely…" "Shut up and listen!"

"Sleep, little one, sleep quickly. Your bed is a round-about."

"Really? My bed's a round-about? How do I turn it on?", Yachiru asked exitedly. "We don't know", Yumichika said, but she didn't hear him because she looked for something to switch the round-about on.

"Hey, baldy, help me!", she shouted and pulled on Ikkaku's leg. He looked at Yumichika with a glare that promised a painful death.

"Sleep, my child, sleep now, otherwise the monster won't come in", Yumichika hastily finished the song.

Yachiru immediately stopped her search and looked at Yumichika with big eyes.

"Really? If I don't sleep, the monster won't come?"

"Exactly", Ikkaku said. Yachiru thought for a moment, then she got back in her bed.

"Okay, get out now!", she said. Yumichika and Ikkaku did so very quickly, glad that she was finally going to sleep.

The next morning, Yachiru ran to the yard where Ikkaku and Yumichika usually spent their mornings. She looked very angry.

"The monster didn't come!"

Yumichika and Ikkaku looked at each other confusedly, untill they realized what she was talking about.

"Well, er…", Ikkaku tried, but didn't find an explanation. "Maybe it was too afraid of you to come", Yumichika helped. Ikkaku nodded.

Yachiru looked at them critically. "What a pity", she finally said. "I really would have liked to talk with it a little."

**The End**

**A/N:** Berendis: We hope you enjoyed reading this little piece of writing. And we're still looking for a beta-reader, so if you have the time and patience to show us all of our mistakes... please write us!  
Nachtschatten: We beg of you :puppy eyes:


	2. You're Not Allowed To Fail

**Disclaimer:** Nothing belongs to us except for the words' order. The Characters belong to Kubo Tite. And we don't get money with that.

**Raiting:** P6 / G

**Genre:** General / Drama

**Charakters:** Kurotsuchi Nemu, Kurotsuchi Mayuri

**Summary:** Nemu wakes up in a world where failure is not tolerated.

**A/N:** Nachtschatten: We're still looking for a betareader (and a psychiatrist as well)  
Berendis: Wouldn't anyone do the job for us? We can't be that bad, can we? (Oh yes, we can, but still...)  
Nachtschatten: Well, we can't do anything more about it but to beg one of you to be our beta reader. So, enjoy the fanfiction. (This time, I translated - as you might notice - I'm much worse than Berendis)  
Berendis: I told you you're not:grumbles: Why won't you just listen to me?  
Nachtschatten: Because I'm right. ;P  
Berendis: You're not! But well... let's not bore our readers with that, or no one will ever read the ff. So, on to the fanfiction! Have fun!

**Oneshot #2: You're Not Allowed To Fail!**

She took a deep breath. It smelled strangely of chemicals and she could hear the beeping of various machines. Opening her eyes, flashy light blinded her. She blinked to get used to it. "Where am I?" she whispered.

"You're inside my laboratory, Nemu," a raspy voice replied.

"Nemu," she repeated. "Is that my name?"

"Kurotsuchi Nemu," the voice said. "You're my daughter."

Slowly she sat up. Her body felt dully, like it wouldn't belong to her. Sharp pain shot through her spine as she moved, but it fainted soon. Slowly she lifted her hand to her face. Her skin was pale, nearly white and her fingers were long and thin.

Nemu stroke through her hair with her fingers. It was soft and even. She turned her head towards her father. He wore a black-white mask, yellow eyes glaring out of it.

"My name is Kurotsuchi Mayuri. You're supposed to call me Mayuri-sama," he said.

Nemu nodded.

Mayuri handed her some clothes. They were completely black. "Pick these up!" he ordered.

Nemu nodded again. Warily she stood up and took the clothes. Her knees were shaking lightly under her weight and it took a moment before she could stand safely.

She let her fingers run through the fabric. It felt softly, but also kind of roughly. A strange feeling… She unfolded the fabric but she didn't know what to do with it. What was she supposed to do?

"What's with you? Pick it up, already!" her father – Mayuri-sama – ordered. Nemu looked helplessly upon the clothes in her hands.

"I don't know how," she whispered. Mayuri snorted and ripped the fabric out of her hands.

"I don't believe this!" he said with angry voice. "Are you stupid?"

He showed her how to dress herself. When she finished, he nodded contently.

"Now listen," he said. "From now on, I'm your master. You don't do anything without my orders or my permission. If you fail, I will punish you. Understood?"

Hesitating, Nemu nodded. "Yes, Mayuri-sama."

"I will teach you Zanjutsu, Hakuda, Kidou and Houho. Furthermore you will learn the exposure to machines and to produce poisons and antidotes. I will train you to be my lieutenant. If you fail, I will anatomise and upgrade you," Mayuri explained.

Nemu shivered. She didn't want to be destroyed again. She had just started to live.

"One thing: Don't dare to disagree with me," he ended. "Yes, sir," Nemu whispered, her voice could hardly be heard.

This man frightened her and she didn't doubt one moment that he would make true what he told her.

"Now, follow me," he ordered and went to a door at the other end of the laboratory. Nemu followed him, swaying a bit at first, before her steps became safer. Behind the door was a long white floor.

The heels of her shoes hurt. It was difficult for her to take her balance on them. Nemu tried her best not to fall, but failed.

She twisted her left ankle. She cried quietly and pained out before she fell down to the floor. Her foot hurt, but the pain was nothing against the fear she felt of the punishment of her father.

Did she fail? Would he take her back into the cramped laboratory and kill her there?

"What are you doing there?" Mayuri said angrily.

Nemu was shaking and tried to stand up. But her body disobeyed and she fell back to the ground.

"I told you to stand up!" She was hit straight in her face. She whimpered slightly. "Stand up, useless thing," Mayuri ordered and brought her ruggedly to her feet.

Nemu swayed, but managed to stand safely. Her foot hurt, so did her face, but she didn't dare to complain.

"Come on!" Mayuri hissed to his daughter. "Dare you, if you stumble one more time!"

Frightened, Nemu followed him now paying extra attention to take her balance.

Nemu shivered a bit, but she didn't show it. Any feelings seemed to be weakness to her father and weakness meant failure. Mayuri had forbidden her to fail.

They approached a door. Mayuri went straight towards it and opened it full of verve. Bright light came from the outside. Mayuri went outside and waited for Nemu impatiently. She hurried to quickly come after him.

Warmth went through her when she moved into the sunlight. A light breeze went through the streets. This had to be what is called life. Nemu liked this feeling. She resolved to go outside so many times her father gave her the permission to do so. But she doubted that he would give her the permission to go out when he realised that he does her a favour with this.

"This is Seireitei," Mayuri explained short-spoken. "Shinigami are living here. I am also a Shinigami and I will educate you to be one as well. I am the captain of the twelfth squad and the second president of the Institute of Technology and Development. You will become the lieutenant of the twelfth division and my assistant. I will not tolerate you to fail. Understood?"

"Yes, Mayuri-sama," Nemu nodded submissively.

Not far away, a group of Shinigami was standing. Nemu watched them curiously. The Shinigami seemed to talk to each other and every once a while they looked at Nemu and Mayuri.

Nemu shivered a bit. The glares of these people were different of Mayuris, but as awkward as his. Antipathy, shot through her head. This was antipathy.

Confused she looked at Mayuri, who wasn't paying attention to her, but was talking to a man wearing black clothes. This man, too, was staring at her once in a while, but when their eyes met he quickly looked away. 'Antipathy,' she thought.

She didn't know where the word had come from, but she knew instinctively what it meant.

It meant everyone would avoid her. It meant she wasn't liked. It meant she was different… because Mayuri had created her.

Sadly, she looked to the ground. Antipathy also meant that her existence would not be accepted. Indeed people would tolerate her, but nobody would really like her.

Not even Mayuri seemed to like her really. He looked at her as an useful experiment. He would not look at her as a being, which possessed a soul.

She followed him unresistingly as he moved on. She ignored the glares of the others. She would live. Even if she would never find any respect or sympathy in the eyes of the Shinigami when they looked at her, she would live.

And she would not fail.


End file.
